when people don’t shut up about being drunk
(Source: iamvishnu, via magicul)
I need to be a professional woman who wears expensive lingerie under designer clothes
(Source: babygonzo, via lushwild)
Stop asking for 2014 to be good to you. Fucking grab your balls and make it good.
Grabbed balls and just ended up masturbating. Instructions were unclear.
I don’t friend zone people, I relationship zone them. You wanna be my friend? Too bad, we’re dating.